


Transformers:: Split

by Espileon707



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: A continuity I built, F/F, F/M, Found Family, Found Family Feels, Hallucinations, M/M, Other, Transformers:Split, Warning: Later descriptions of mutilation, and the ultimate terror that is Graduate studies and Early Adult life, four Idiots with too much time and thriftyness broke Physics, idiots who are somehow very smart, the horrors of war
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 01:58:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17951465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Espileon707/pseuds/Espileon707
Summary: Four Young Adults all squashed into a small home together make a bad decision. Jay age 26 Chemistry Doctoral student, Millie (or Mill, or Millhouse depending on the day) age 25 Robotics Doctoral student, Ofelia age 24 Anthropologist, and Cortez age 23 and aspiring Baker. In the Midst of Stress, bungled experiments, upcoming meetings and Rent the four roommates take a break. Whilst Drunk/High they do as young adults do and make bad decisions.Across the Galaxy war is brewing on Cybertron. The Autobot and Decepticon High Command is missing and the last of the ancient Space Bridge network has fizzled out leaving Prowl and Blaster in charge of the dwindling Autobots. While searching for their missing comrades a miniature Space Bridge activates and may just hold the Key or Keys to finding their missing commanders.





	1. Chapter 1: In which 4 Idiots make a Plan

**  
_Chapter 1: In which 4 Idiots make a Plan_  
**

 

“Hey… Heeeeeey! Jay! Jay Jay jay jay jay Jaaaaaaay~” 

“What?!” Jay hissed as the hallway light poured into his dark sanctuary of a room. Ofelia was leaning on his door frame, a bottle in one hand and a half eaten cookie in the other. The cookie was dripping warm gooey chocolate onto his floor.

“Cortez stress baked a Bakery again and Millie broke out The Bottles claiming it was a De-stress night. We got the old DDR machine out to. You in the middle of an experiment or just recording shit?” Ofelia asked. Jay sighed.

“I'm just finishing my records of this last reaction. Give me a few more minutes.”

“Mind if-”

“You can sit on the floor. My bed is… occupied.” Jay said hastily, gesturing to the sticky beakers on his bed and the pile of coffee mugs. Ofelia laughed as she sat down on the floor and took a bite of cookie.

“Chill bro. How'd the experiment go? I noticed a lack of smoke and explosions this past week.” Jay sighed as his pencil scratched over paper.

“I was closer than ever to completing the Synthesis. Unfortunately the finished product couldn't even power my most basic of coffee makers and when it cooled it turned into an adhesive that would not budge.” Ofelia's eyes lit up.

“Ooooooh?! Where is it? You didn't trash it yet have you?” Jay groaned and discreetly shoved the wad of still cooling chemicals into his coat pocket.

“You are not using it to punish Gregor again Ofelia.”

“But he's so gross! And evil!”

“That's the Tequila talking Hun, what's takin ya'll so long?” Millie asked wandering into the dark. Jay could make out the glowing Red hair ribbon with a faint words she/her on them signifying Millie's gender of the time. 

“I'm trying to finish my notes! I have a presentation with my advisor this week and I need my notes ready.” Jay protested as Millie giggled.

“Ah yes, thats why its break night. I have to defend my Thesis in two days to my committee and Cortez has his thing with the bank soon.” Millie said hoisting Ofelia up to her feet. “Cmon hun, Jay will meet us downstairs.”

“Aw, but I wanted to hang with hiiim.” Ofelia whined. Millie clicked her tongue.

“Easy there. He'll meet us downstairs, right Jay?” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Jay sighed. Millie's tone left no room for arguing, he was joining the party tonight. “I'll bring the stash to if you behave Ofi.”

There was a squeal of delight from Ofelia as she raced from the room down to the common area and Millie soon followed leaving Jag with a sinking feeling of impending doom.

Cortez jiggled his leg and shotgunned another Shot of Tequila, wincing as the burn made its way down his throat. Anything to take the edge off until Jay descended with the House Stash of Weed. Sure Cortez had his own stash but that was Medical and he had to ration it for another month and a half until he had recovered from Rent. Cortez's prosthetic foot clattered together at the joint as he jiggled his left leg more. Jay somehow, got his Weed in massive quantities and for cheap claiming family ties. Though Cortez was.sure that meant he grew it himself, Jay was originally from Colorado, so his family could own a dispensary. 

“Cortez, Hey! Cortezzzz!!” 

“Hmm?” Cortez Hummed as Ofelia flopped onto his lap. He began to absentmindedly scritch her head. 

“Millie said she's gots an idea but she won't tell meeee.” 

“What do you want me to do?” Cortez asked Ofelia pouted. 

“Take her pastry rights away!”

“Absolutely not.”

“Aaaaaw!” Ofelia sighed and leaned into the scritches.

“If I did that Id need to take away your bottle rights. You're already getting drunk and Jay hasn't even joined us.”

“Yes I have.” Jay's scratchy voice called from the stairs. Cortez smiled, relief washing over his face as Jay looked no worse for wear. Jay lifted Ofelia and sat himself down next to Cortez a lighter and several blunts in one hand. He plopped Ofelia back on top of them both and leaned into Cortez as he passed a full Blunt and lighter to the shaking man. 

“Thank you.” Cortez hissed as he lit the end of the blunt. Jay sucked in a breath, a lit blunt already smoldering in between his teeth.

“Hmm.”

“Ah! Good ya'll are here!” Millie chirped setting herself down on Cortez's left side. In her hands were two massive cocktail glasses filled with bright green booze. Ofelia gasped.

“Ode de Haze!! You only make that when you have stupid ideas!” A pause. “Gimme!”

“Magic words Hun!” Millie teased as Cortez soaked in the weed and the casual cuddling and Jay readjusted to the light. They waited, drank and smoked until finally Millie presented her idea. 

 

Ofelia woke up with her usual groans and creaking joints. As she liked to say she loved Tequila, and Tequila loved her. Not a hangover in sight. But sleeping on the cold hard floor was not good for arthritic joints so she rose slowly and hissed as her spine cracked in protest. As she dislodged herself and her vision began to slowly return Ofelia heard a groan and thump behind her. Cortez flopped over, blinking slowly into the dim light.

“Time?” He croaked out as Ofelia checked her watch. 

“5:37 am.”

“Mphrm.” Cortex rolled over and grabbed hold of Jay and Millie and returned to sleep. 

Ofelia blinked around, the world was blurry as fuck without her glasses and she couldn't make much out but one thing. Everything was greyish and shiny. 

“Damnit Millie if you tricked us into working on your Doctoral thesis again I fucking swear.” Ofelia muttered groping around for her glasses. She found the thick rimmed sight assistants tucked into Jay's shirt pocket and gladly put them on. Only to blink in confusion.

“Uh… Millie? Millie? Guys?!” Ofelia shouted. 

“Damnit Ofi, not everyone is immune to hangovers! Stop yelling!” Jay Hissed. Ofelia felt panic rising in her throat.

“Where are we?!”

“What'dyea mean?” Millie asked blinking.

“I don't remember there being two Red Suns!” Cortez suddenly shot up, forcibly dislodging and waking Jay and Millie who scrambled to their feet and looked up with Ofelia. Sure enough two angry red balls of gas were staring them down from the horizon, setting down below a glistening metal landscape. Reds, purples and oranges gleamed into view as the massive alien cityscape began to grow dark. The four young adults looKed around and panicked.

Night was Falling on Iacon as Prowl patrolled the silent city. Most Bots had retired much earlier in the cycle out of fear and Prowl tried desperately to keep some modicum of peace.

“Boss Bot! Boss Bot!” The squeaky vocalizer of Squint caught Prowl's attention. Turning down towards the Minibot Prowl sighed.

“Report?”

“The energy burst has died down but we are still unable to pinpoint its exact location. Blaster and Lockjaw have Volunteered to patrol the borders of the city and Seaspray and Chromia are  
keeping an eye on the archives.” Squint recited dutifully. Prowl nodded.

“Very good, what of you?”

“Me? Oh! I am joining you on Patrol, like we agreed upon earlier this cycle?” Prowl blinked recalling the cycle's interactions. Ah yes, this was agreed upon.

“Yes. Right. Well come along. Primus may yet lead us to something important.”

“I hope that something is good.”

 

“Ok, ok. So we are def not on earth, contaminated Weed and booze has been ruled out. Same with toxic fumes…” Cortez listed off his voice shaking as he paced. Jay was holding Ofelia as she looked around wildly and Millie sat playing with their Gender Ribbon looking a bit worried.

“Can anyone remember anything from last night?” Cortez asked.

“I remember Mill bringing out Ode de Haze then it went all fuzzy and upside down.” Ofelia said. Jay nodded. 

“Same here. I vaguely remember agreeing to something. Wait…. Mill? What was that stupid idea you had?”

“It was a good idea!” Mill defended.

“Validity aside what was it?” Jay asked as calmly as possible.

“Well, ya'll know that our schools are a while away.”

“15 minutes is not a while City child.” Ofelia muttered, Mills ignored her.

“So i figured what if we made a teleporter to the Labs. The chem lab is closest to all our classes and work spaces so why not there?”

“Isn't teleportation still in the experimental phases for even the big name corps?” Cortez asked.

“Well yeah but, they want to go cross country and shit. I just wanted to sleep in and get to my meetings on time.” Mill stated plainly.

“Well looks like we teleported ok, but where the Fuck did we land?!” Cortez asked.

“I have no idea!” Mill exclaimed excitedly. “ We could be anywhere!”

“Mill. I have an important presentation soon. O cant be lost in Space!” Jay shouted. Ofelia clung to him desperately.

“I have thay Conference this weekend to!” Ofelia shouted. “Why'd I agree to help?!”

“We all agreed to help why the fuck did we agree?!” Cortez exclaimed. Mill sat back and glared at their roommates.

“That's ya'lls problem.”

“Mill you have to defend your Thesis in two days! How are you gonna do that from here?!” Jay shouted. Mill froze and stiffened.

“Oh. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck!!! I totally forgot!”

“No shit!” Jay exclaimed.

“Why didn't ya'll stop me?!”

“That's not our job Mill!” Ofelia shouted.

“Well fuck you to Ofelia!”

Squint paused mid step, audials swiveling towards the distant sounds. Quickly the minibot raised a visor, data and records passing by their optics in a blurr. The visor suddenly snapped up.

“Prowl! I think O found the energy source!” Prowl halted in his walk and snapped to Squint. He easily strode over to the Minibot and scooped them UP. 

“Direct me.” Squint nodded and pointed into the distance. 

“That way, follow the shouts!”

 

“Ok, Enough!” Jay screamed swiveling so Ofelia and faced away from Mill. Cortez stood between the two, making himself as big as he could. 

“Right. Everyone fucked up. Yes even you Mill! You came up with the idea and waited till we were intoxicated to present it knowing full well we'd agree then.”

“Yeah but-”

“No buts Mill! We all are at fault now we all need to figure this shit out.” Jay hissed, Mill deflated, their ego visibly shattering before the group. Ofelia clung tightly to Jay as Cortez shrank down and began to nervously mutter and pace again.

“Right, now first things first, we figure out where the fuck we are in relation to Earth. Then we figure out where the fuck we are in relation to the house.” Jay said, Mill nodded numbly and Ofelia muttered. “Ofelia please speak up.”

“Why don't we ask?” Mill scoffed at the suggestion.

“Who? There's no one here?!”

“But this is a city. An alien city but you can tell it's been lived in. The wear and tear of the structures suggest life.” Ofelia quickly looked around at the twisted architecture. She could figure it out. Things looked vaguely familiar, without the deliberate holes and twisting metal, the architecture could be Gothic in nature. But it was wrong, almost broken.

“I trust the Anthropologist on this one.” Jay said. “Let's figure out how to make contact, I guess, and move from there.” Mill said.

“I don't think we have to do much…” Cortez hissed pointing towards the horizon.

Moving ever closer two Robots approached. One was about 16ft tall, with a bulky chest and legs. Four doors formed Fairy like wings on its back. It had a humanoid appearance with its limbs being just to long proportionally. Its head had a helmet like design with two glass light nubs on either side that were shining a pale Blue light forward. They were a white color with black and red highlight and a red chevron in place of eyebrows. Perched on the larger one's shoulder was a smaller leaner bot about 5ft 10in with fanned bent metal bits swiveling on either side of its head. It has a smokey visor over its face and what appeared to be a lense on its chest. 

Ofelia coughed and pointed at the smaller or the two.

“Hot.” Her roommates groaned.

Prowl quickened his pace as they approached the small beings. Bipedal though they were Prowl was ready for anything.

There were four total. A tall round Mech framed one with a deep tan color short a dark curly… wires? It looked like they all had very thin flexible wire on their helms. But the burly mech had his short and pulled from his gold optics with some kind of fabric. The other Mech frame was lithe and the second tallest, they also had a dark tanned color to them but had long Pink wires held in a braided pattern, And sharp icy blue optics. Clinging to that individual was a small Femme frame who was staring at Sqint, their skin was yellowish and their audials had many metal piercings. Their straight black wires was cropped short on one side and shaved to the helm on the other. Then there was the tallest, they had a combined Mech/Femme frame and a mixed yellowish tanned color to them. Their wires were tightly curled and held back in a giant puff. Their dark optics were trained on the shortest Femme.

“Prowl, what are they?” Squint whispered, Prowl shook his helm as he stopped before the four beings.

“I don't know.” Prowl paused. “Greetings? I am-”

“ Holy Fuck they talk!” The shortest shouted making Prowl and Squint jump.

“Oh Jesus fuck oh Fuck! I did not sign up for making first contact! Ofelia!!! This is your kinda shit deal with it!” The round one exclaimed grabbing the tall one and rushing behind the Blue Opticed one. The shortest detached themselves from the others and ran up to Prowl and Squint with a wide smile.

“Holy fuck! Uh hi? Holy shit I never thought I'd be meeting aliens! Im Ofelia Dagon, Anthropologist and human from Terran or Earth depending on the language. Who are you? What is your race called? How many languages do your kind speak?” The human Ofelia raced around Prowl and Squint. Prowl, clammed up, his circuitry trying desperately to keep up with the rambling. Squint smiled and hopped down to meet Ofelia face to face.

“Well, to start, I am Squint a Surveillance Minibot, and this is my commanding officer Prowl. He heads Iacon's Protective services for its citizens.” Ofelia gasped.

“Like Police?”

“Yes! You do have a word for that!” Squint buzzed a bit and continued. “We are Cybertronians, currently you are on the Planet Cybertron in the Archival City state of Iacon. And currently there are a total of Four spoken languages, 18 Em Field languages and 2 non vocal gesture based languages on this world. I know you, who might your friends be?”  
Ofelia turned to the other three and gestured to Squint with a meaningful look. The Blue optic one stepped forward. 

“I'm Jay, Chemist.” The Tallest stepped forward.

“Millicent, or Mill currently, Roboticist.” The final human poked out from Behind Jay and waved.

“Cortez, I'm a Baker.”

“Greetings!” Squint exclaimed happily. “Now perhaps we should make our way back to headquarters, it is getting dark and my scans indicate you lot are losing heat quickly. Is that common amongst humans?” 

“Oh, if we don't bundle up yes it helps for those who live in hostile environment s like deserts to be able to vent heat easily, but makes colder climates a little more difficult to manage.” Ofelia explained.

“Hang on a sec.” Mills hissed pulling Ofelia back into the huddle. “Stranger danger Hun. We don't know anything about these folks.”

“I know! It's so exciting!” Ofelia exclaimed. “But besides the possibility of being the ones to make First Contact they might know how to get is home! Gotta take a leap of Faith!”

“Beyond that Ofi, how the Hell do you expect us to keep up? We got little legs and we aren't metal men.” Jay said. Prowl, snapped back to the present.

Ah so these so called humans had been the source of the energy signal. It would be best to keep them close. 

“I can assist in that.” Prowl offered gesturing to the shoulder upon which Squint had been perched, Jay scoffed.

“I'm not being a Parrot.”

“A… what?” Squint asked. 

“Its a… fucking Christ i did not plan on having to explain a fucking Parrot to an alien today. Can I just go back to sleep? Maybe the fumes got to me or I'm hallucinating again.” Jay hissed throwing his hands in the air.

“Look either way he's right we won't be able to keep up and i'm not riding on your shoulder- what the Fuck!” Ofelia screeched in chorus with Cortez as Prowl contorted and transformed into a vehicle. His wings turned into doors that swung open and his voice echoed from with in.

“I suggest you hurry, it will only get colder here the longer we wait.”

“Welp. I'm done.” Jay said, climbing into Prowl. “I'm gonna go with it and blame the chemicals. Ya'll coming?”

“Jay! You're climbing Into an Alien!” Cortez hissed.

“Kinky.” 

“Damnit Ofelia!”

“What, that's Hot and I'm down.”

“Please stop being a Horndog for two minutes you Goddamned Xenophile and actually consider all this!” Mill shouted as Ofelia climbed into Prowl eagerly, Squint followed Ofelia.

“If it helps this is usually how larger Bots help us minibots get around. Our Alt Modes are usually stationary whilst larger bots tend to have mobile alt modes.” Squint offered. After some consideration Cortez and Mill entered Prowl who slammed the doors closed and took off into the city.

“So. How did you four get here?” Squint asked after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. Ofelia’s face was pressed to the glass panes in Prowl’s doors, watching the cityscape zoom by. Jay was muttering and picking at his nails whilst leaned into Cortez who was gripping Mill’s arm tightly.

“We are still trying to piece that together. From what we remember we got intoxicated and tried to make a teleporter to our School and workplaces. I guess it worked to well?” Mill said. 

“Fascinating. Well we can figure more out once we get a few things settled.”

“Like what?” Cortez asked.

“Well for one thing we don't know how long you will be here so we need to ensure we can keep you nourished and in good health. We also need to report this to Perceptor in the Archives, He  
and Brainstorm will be able to assist you more.” Prowl stated, Jay had perked up a little at the mention of Nutrition, Mill smiled eagerly as Ofelia bounced about at the Mention of an Archive. Cortez just kept fidgeting. “We should also try to outfit you four with weapons if possible.”

“Woah woah woah there! Weapons? Why would we need those?” Ofelia asked.

“Can't you tell? Cybertron is at war with itself.”


	2. Chapter 2: The Idiots Discover Something New, Something Borrowed and Someone Blue (And Yet Not a Wedding in Sight)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Four lost humans are learning loads about Cybertron, but not much on how they managed to get there in the first place. Prowl lends the four humans some Important Items. And they meet someone very Blue. Literally blue not like Sad Blue, but he is also Sad just not very good at showing it. Its Whirl. They meet Whirl, and he bonds with Jay whilst the others try to get more comfortable their own way. When stuck on a foreign planet might as well Give a few new things a... Whirl.

_**Chapter 2: The Idiots Discover Something New, Something Borrowed and Someone Blue (And Yet Not a Wedding in Sight)** _

 

The Four Humans had gone silent and no amount of coaxing got them to tall again. They kept making Optic contact and Cortez's servos were flying wildly, and Ofelia was responding in kind.

_“What the Fuck Ofelia?”_ Cortez Signed.

_“I couldn't tell! Now that They said that the buildings did look like they had been bombed.”_ Ofelia signed back panicked.

_“You're the Culture person and shit! And now we're stuck here!”_ Cortez signed.

_“Hey, ease off Cortez. There is a difference between knowing something is a City, and if that city was a War zone.”_ Mill signed back. Whatever Cortez was going to sign back was lost as the four all grabbed each other in bracing and Prowl swerved into cover.

“What the Hell?!” Jay hissed Gripping Cortez for dear life and Mill and Ofelia clung to each other.

“Stay quiet.” Prowl ordered his door swinging open. “Squint. Recon.”

“Got it boss.” Squint hopped out and raced off.

“What about us?!” Cortez hissed between his teeth. “We're not metal! We squish!”

“That's why we are staying here. Squint will report back soon. Just stay quiet and keep your helms down.” There was a beat then…

“D-does he mean head?” 

“Ofelia!” Jay huffed pulling the woman down. 

“What? I was just asking!”

“Ofelia! Shut up!” Jay snarled. Ofelia shrank a bit and Prowl hummed. When no response came he tried clicking, and then realized.

“Do, Humans, not have EM Fields?” He whispered in confusion. 

“Whats that?” Ofelia asked loudly. Earning a glare from Jay.

“Electromagnetic Fields. We have several means of communication, EM Fields are a major one.” Prowl stated. Ofelia gasped.

“Oh! Was that the nice vibrating? It felt nice and good.” Ofelia exclaimed, Cortez nodded his hands moving to form signs.

“What is that?” Prowl asked.

“Oh! Its ASL, American Sign language. Sometimes me and Cortez cant talk cause bad brain shit so we sign.” Ofelia explained as Cortez signed some more. “Oh… You wanted us to be quiet didnt you?”

“Yes. My apologies I should have stated so.”

“All clear Boss!” Squint shouted as he skidded back up to Prowl and the four Humans. “It was friend not foe!”

Suddenly another, shorter bot came bounding up, and Cortez squealed.

“Puppy!!!” Indeed it was a dog like mecha, about as big as a Tibetan Mastiff. Its limbs were a bit to long and its head was a little misshapen but it looked Dog like alright. And as Prowl opened his door for Squint to return Cortez sprang out and began to scratch the dog bot behind its curled ears.

“Cortez! What the hell?” Jay hissed as Cortez ignored him, happily patting the pup. 

“Huh, Lockjaw normally never lets anyone but his Carrier show him Affection.” Squint noted. Mill Laughed.

“That's Cortez for ya. He has a way with people and Animals.”

“By animals do you mean Fauna?” Prowl asked. Mill nodded. “Ah, see Lockjaw is not Fauna, he is a Beastformer. He is like myself and Squint, sentient and fully aware of the world.”

“Really?! That's awesome!” Ofelia exclaimed as Cortez hummed contently petting Lockjaw.

"Cachorro, pequeño cachorro precioso. Dulce inteligente chico increíble~"

“What in the Pits?” Eyes and Optics turn up to a tall blocky Red mech with curled Audials similar to Lockjaw's. He had a large cassette like window on his chest with a yellow zig-zag running across it. Lockjaw suddenly laughed.

“Isnt it funny Carrier?”

“Puppy talks!” Cortez exclaimed. Ofelia snorted as Mill giggled.

“Prowl just mentioned that Cortez!” Mill said between giggles. The bigger mech turned to the still transformed Prowl, pinkish optics blinked and an optic ridge cocked. 

“Prowl. Are you ill? Because it seems you have some kind of …” the newcomer lightly poked Mill who yelped and fell back into Ofelia and Jay all who tumbled back further into Prowl who huffed. “Organic growth.”

“This is the weirdest Trip ever.” Jay muttered crawling further away from the new bot.

“They are humans Blaster. They managed to teleport to the Blast Zone. We were headed to the Hall of Archives to see if Perceptor and Brainstorm might know what to do.” Prowl explained as Squint Fished a flailing Ofelia and Mill up from the floor of Prowl's alt form. Cortez stared up at Blaster shaking. Lockjaw cocked his helm to the side.

“Do humans, normally shake so much?” Suddenly three heads snapped to Cortez and three humans raced to their friend.

“Hey, Cortez everything ok?” Jay asked.

“You're not seizing yeah? Are there flashing lights? Anything like that?” Ofelia asked looking around, Mill stared gripping Cortez's face and opening his eyes. Cortez slapped their hands away.

“Its not a Seizure! Fuck off!” The three stepped back, Ofelia raised her hands.

“Sorry! Sorry. Got worried.” Cortez huffed and Lockjaw walked up to them.

“The shaking is normal. But not normal?” He asked tail perked up like he was trying to detect something.

“Seizures are not normal shaking. They can get violent and can hurt me. This shaking is because I'm terrified, again! I don't know where we are, we are surrounded by giants, and anything I would call normal is gone I recognize nothing and there's apparently a War? We could die violent horrible deaths or slow painful starvation deaths and Jay has been yelling and… and … why is the air shaking?” The four humans looked around, two confused, one excitedly and Cortez melting from fear to a serene smile.

Blaster leaned down to Prowl, his optics trained on the humans.

“Do they…?”

“No EM Fields. They can feel it to a degree but don't understand it at all. It seems some of them like it and the others don't quite understand.” Prowl whispered. Blaster nodded.

“Right Right. And you are sending a Sparkling Call because?”

“Tease all you want but you are doing the same.”

“At least I own it.” 

“Nice stim. Good stim. Warm buzzy stim.” Ofelia sang as the EM Field calmed down. Mill turned to Cortez as Jay gripped Ofelia's hand desperately. Ofelia gently ran her thumb over Jay's hand letting the older man enjoy the pressure of her hand. Mill smiled gently pulling Cortez into a side hug.

“Better?”

“Still terrified.”

“I think we all are. Its a lot. Next time, I promise not to suggest ground breaking and dangerous science when we are all intoxicated.” Mill smiled as Cortez laighed softly.

“Maybe next time we make sure we have a way home on us at least?” Mill laughed.

“Yeah, yeah that's more likely.”

“Hey? Uh maybe we should get moving? Its very very cold.”Ofelia said as Jay leaned into her and whispered.

“How cold is it?” 

“Super fuckin cold. Half these shivers are cold shivers.” Ofelia whispered.

“Oh… yeah we should go.” Jay hissed seeming emberassed. 

The four climbed back into Prowl as Blaster watched the Humans pile in. He smiled.

“Well how about we all head back to base and you can tell me about humans?” Blaster asked making Optic contact with Cortez. 

“Uh, Ofelia would be happy to-” Blaster held up a servo to stop Cortez. 

“No offense Little Femme, but you seem like you know about the scientific stuff and this Little Mech,” Blaster pointed to Cortez, “You seem to know more about the good stuff. Like what kind of fun ya'll do?”

Ofelia deflated a bit but Cortez smiled shyly. 

“Uh, sure?” Cortez nodded. “Yeah, that'd be fun.”

Blaster smiled as Prowl drove off and only turned to Lockjaw once Prowl, Squint and the Humans were out of sight. His smile fell to a frown as a misty blue visor snapped down and lit up.

“Slag it all. Squint was right, again. We have three Cons incoming…” Lockjaw's optics glowed a light pink about their edges and he nodded. 

“Looks like a familiar Con's at the helm.” Lockjaw snarled, a wicked grin spreading on his faceplates and his sharpen denta glistening in the growing moonlight. “ Should we intercept?”

“Of course, we have four guests to protect! Call Seaspray and Chromia. They wont want to miss out on this!”

 

Prowl slowed to a halt just within the walls of the Hall of Archives. The tall glistening building shone blue under a massive pale moon. Great curving arches of metal, a glistening steeple, and hanging Buttresses shone in full view. The four humans gasped and Ofelia and Mill pressed their faces to the windows.

“I knew it would look Gothic!” Ofelia whispered reverently. 

“fucking hell its like looking at a European Cathedral, if Europe used alien Metals and actually maintained their structures!” Mill enthused with Ofelia as the party clambered out pf Prowl. Once Clear Prowl transformed back to his bipedal mode, red Chevron glowing almost purple in the light on his head. The bulbs on his head flashed softly as the air buzzed again.

“Good buzzing or bad buzzing?” Cortez asked as Jay tapped his leg quickly.

“Informative. I am alerting those present to your presence. Typically the use of EM Field communication is to alert others to the presence of newcomers, or in communication with Sparklings or Younglings who have yet to develop their vocalizers. Often it is a quick form of communication and soothing others.” Prowl explained Ofelia nodded along, her dark eyes trained on Prowls mouth as he spoke.

“Amazing! So its a more intimate form of communication? Like a Love Language!” Prowl shook his Helm as he led the humans towards the towering Building's entrance. 

“I am unsure of your Species concept of Love Languages, Cybertronians have dedicated communication for intimacy. I…” Prowl trailed off, visibly getting uncomfortable. Ofelia cocked her head to the side fingers knitted together and wide eyed. Jay groaned and pulled Ofelia away much to her confusion.

“Wait! Where are you taking me? Jay!”

“Stop asking uncomfortable questions! Not everyone wants to know about alien Sex languages!” Jay groaned. 

“Not all Love is sex!” 

“Ofelia, just leave it be for now Hun.” Mill said.

“I… could answer any questions you have Femme Ofelia, once you are more settled.” Squint volunteered poking his helm out next to Ofelia. Ofelia tore away from Jay who groaned as she grabbed Squint's servos in excitement. She flapped her arms and Squint's in excitement. 

“Really?! That'd be awesome!”Ofelia shouted jumping up and down. 

Mill chuckled and turned to Prowl as two new bots went racing by. One was a teal color and had a feminine frame. They had spiked audials and a sleeker helm shape than Prowl and they were taller to. Also buff, they looked buff. Running next to them was a shorter orange and green Bot, shorter than Prowl and taller than Squint. They had a boxy hood like structure surrounding their squat helm and they steamed as they moved. The taller of the two smirked as she sped by.

“Heading out boss, Seaspray and I will be back soon. Blaster called ahead, Perceptor and Brainstorm are waiting for you with First Aid!”

“Thank you Chromia. Be careful out there!” Prowl called as the two transformed, Chromia became a car like vehicle and Seapray became a three wheeled morotcycle as they raced off a static chuckled came bouncing back to them.

“Id be more worried about yourself than us!” There was a buzz then Chromia and Seaspray were out of sight.

“Well… guess we should get inside?” Mill asked.

“Certainly. This way.” 

Prowl led the four humans through the Halls. The space was massive, ceilings reaching up to 100ft tall and then some on places. Smaller Human sized passages that sprang to light and life as Squint and the humans passed by. A dull green light filled the shadows as a pale blue lit the Halls. Prowl said little, but his dull optics stayed trained on the humans. Making sure they didn't fall behind or end up under pede.

Ofelia.was speeding around, peering into every passage, looking around every turn in excitement. Cortez stuck close to Jay and seemed more unsure. Mill was walking dutifully by Prowl and observing the halls. Jay… Prowl was worried about the Mech. He had stopped responding to most stimuli and seemed a bit more detached. If his initial reaction was anything to base assumptions on, Prowl assumed that Jay should be louder, more vibrant. But instead he had become a blank slate. Barely there.

“Ah. Commander. Glad you have finally joined us.” Prowl's attention snapped back to the task at hand as Perceptor's silent yet firm vocalizer echoed through the lab doors. Ofelia was gasping in awe again and Prowl caught something of a growl coming from the human Femme. The confusion that came from this only worsened as Mill groaned and jabbed Ofelia with an elbow.

Perceptor was Leaner than Prowl with a Mixed frame. He had fluid lines and a sharp faceplate and helm. A singular lense covered his Left optic though it swiveled and moves with his optic as he adjusted it’s focus. Attached to his right arm was a long Microscope lens, part of his Alt mode, and strapped to his back was a sniper grade rifle. A heavily modified sniper rifle, but it was still at least a little recognizable to the untrained optic. Poking out near his hips were two glass panels that lifted and fell rhythmically, little door wings not unlike Prowl’s. Ofelia squealed and pointed at Perceptor’s faceplates.

“Soul Patch!” She squealed, pointing and giggling at the patch of metal on Perceptor’s lower Faceplates. Perceptor cocked an eye ridge, his optics brightening for a second in amusement before a Servo slapped him in the back. His door wings fluttered as he hummed in annoyance. 

“Don’t leave me out of this!” Brainstorm exclaimed, draping himself lazily on Perceptor. 

Brainstorm was also a mixed frame but was sharper and taller than Prowl and Perceptor. He was a teal color with yellowish orange hightlights. His frame was sharp and looked like it could be flight based, with metal jet like wings upon his back. His face plates were covered in an orange mask, and the yellowish highlights pulsed as he spoke whilst his yellow optics curled upwards in amusement.

“Perceptor, Brainstorm. Where is First Aid?” Prowl asked coolly as Ofelia raced around the two new bots and Mill followed her patiently. 

“Here Prowl!” First Aid called from behind Brainstorm, his vocalizer squeaking as he tried to squeeze through the two much larger mechs.

First Aid was a Mech frame, much bulkier that the other two mechs before Prowl. He was red and White with a white mask over his faceplates and a Pinkish Optic visor. There was a red x on the right side of his faceplate and red plus signs on his shoulder Pauldrons. Speaking of, he looked like he was made of scale mail, with rounder lines than Brainstorm, but not nearly as fluid as Perceptor. He smiled nervously, his servos waving and stained lightly pink.

“Hello! Uh, Prowl? How… Sturdy, are these creatures?” First Aid asked, nervously bouncing away from Ofelia as she raced around happily. Mill sighed, nabbing Ofelia’s collar and dragging her back.

“Easy now Hun. Let’s just hang back here.” 

“You knocked my glasses off!” Ofelia whined, diving down and retrieving her glasses before reluctantly following Mill back towards Prowl and Squint.

“They are Humans First Aid, not Fauna.” Squint corrected loudly not looking at the other bots at all. He seemed preoccupied keeping an eye on the four humans standing by him. 

“Indeed. They might be able to explain their appearance here better than I, but I can confirm that they are the source of the recent energy spike.” Prowl explained. Brainstorm chirruped which made Perceptor sigh and for the humans to look confused.

“You part bird or Somethin?” Jay asked plainly. Cortez gripped him tighter though he didn't seem to notice.

“What? What’s a bird?” Brainstorm asked, but not pausing to vent before continuing. “That energy spike was similar to the records we have of a functioning Space Bridge operating at capacity! If there is the chance of even one Space Bridge being operational it could not only turn the tide of this war, but it could actually assist in the search for Command!” 

“Wait, Command? You mean like Generals and shit?” Mill asked Prowl who nodded. “I thought you were one of those guys.”

“No I am simply a commanding officer for a security team here in Iacon. I do not lead the Autobots in any form beyond that.” Perceptor scoffed as Prowl finished.

“You have been leading us for vorns Prowl. The Autobots would be scrap had you and Blaster not stepped up. Now, back to the matters in our Servos.” There was a snort from Ofelia as Cortez scrunched his face up. Perceptor watched them curiously.

“Matters in our servos? You call hands servos or something else? Its also just a mouthful!” Now Brainstorm chirped and buzzed in a way that seemed to resemble laughter as Ofelia spoke.

“And you say mouthful, not Twisting the Vocalizer huh?” Ofelia smiled innocently. 

“Yes, cause we have mouths, I’m not poking fun just interested!” She protested. “I Literally went to school for this kind of stuff! Cultural exchanges and idioms are awesome!” 

“They ain’t making fun of you either Ofelia. Their just as confused and amused as you.” Mill pointed out. Brainstorm nodded. 

“Oh yes! But again! Back to the matter… at hand.” Brainstorm’s optics curled and narrowed even more, amusement evident in his vocals. Ofelia beamed and Cortez snorted, releasing the laugh that had been trapped for a few minutes.

“Right… So first things first, how did you four get here?” Perceptor asked, ignoring Brainstorm, Ofelia and Cortez. Mill stepped forward, having handed Ofelia over to Cortez and taken Jay with them. 

“Well, to be honest, I figured teleportation from our home to our work spaces would be easier than fighting morning traffic. So we got intoxicated and…”

“We apparently overshot. No clue what we used to teleport and no clue how to get back at all.” Jay finished Mill linked their arms and held tight. 

“Yes, it was my idea. We aren't sure how we got here, just that we did and that what ever harebrained,” There was more laughter from Brainstorm and Ofelia and Cortez. Squint had joined in their giggling, seeming to find it amusing as well. “Scheme we created worked.”

“Hmm, fascinating.” Perceptor muttered as First Aid stepped forward.

“Uh, I'm no expert on humans, in the slightest, but are any of you hurt? It is my job to see to the functionality and health of the citizens of Iacon.” Mill turned to First Aid, her dark eyes shining. 

“So.. ya’ll are mechanical yeah?”

“Yes?” First Aid hesitantly answered. 

“You… fix them yeah? Like a doctor?”

“Oh yes! I am a doctor! I’m nOt nearly as good as my teacher, but not everyone is a living legend yeah? I’m pretty slagging good!” First Aid puffed up like a bird. Mill smiled widely.

“I am studying what we human’s call Robotics. The creation and upkeep of Mechanical forms. Nothing humanity has ever built ever gained sentience though we have been striving to make our robots more and more life like. If you and I could talk later, I’d love to pick your brain for information of the anatomy of Cybertronians!” Mill enthused, First Aid looked a bit dubious.

“You wouldn't be trying to make a cybertronian would you?” Mill gasped.

“What? I may be a self Proclaimed Mad Scientist but I would never try to recreate life! I read Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein thank you, If I ever accidentally make a living being they will be treated as such!” Mill firmly stated earning some confused looks. Sighing she continued. “I am saying I would not use what I learned to try and make a living being to exploit, nor would I try to make Life just to do so. We have a saying back home fro a very important piece of culture, Jurassic Park. In it, several scientists resurrect long dead predatory species to disastrous results. The quote is, “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.””

“And yet you build a teleporter?” Brainstorm asked Mill huffed.

“There was some research into the usage of short range teleportation already! We wanted to teleport only a couple of miles not Light years!” 

“Moving on.” Jay stated, turning to Perceptor. “We don’t know how to get back, how we got here, or how long we will be here. We need specific nutrients to survive in specific forms. Our bdies loose heat quickly, but also retain it too well. We all have a variety of medical needs and I need a chemical lab so that I can start synthesizing our medications first and foremost. If we don’t have these medications we can die. If we don’t have proper nutrition we can die. No drinkable water, death. No temperature control, which it seems you all don’t need, we will die. In other words we will die if shit isn't fixed soon.” 

“Jay.” Mill hissed firmly. Jay shook himself free.

“Look you lot can stay here all you want talking and shit but I’m not sitting here on my ass and getting distracted. If you haven’t forgotten what I just said _Mill_ , our _lives_ are on the line.”

“We know that Jay, you need to calm down because getting angry whilst we assess the situation won’t help!” Mill growled as Jay spat at their feet and stormed off. 

“Wait you shouldn’t wander!” Squint called after him, only for Cortez to grab the Minibot’s arm and pull him back. 

“Don’t. He’s pissed and he’s been trying not to let it get to him. He gets like this when he’s scared.” Cortez explained. “Usually he has a harder time keeping his voice down.”

“Wait… we really could die here couldn’t we?” Ofelia asked, leaving those assembled in silence. 

 

Jay growled as he stomped down the hallway. He said nothing as he hurried along, praying to what ever the fuck was out there that he didn’t meet any… bots as he seethed. It only pissed him off more that all the doors were closed, and wouldn’t open as he approached. He couldn’t think right and couldn’t figure out how to open them fast enough so he marched on. Finally he came to an open door, the interior was dark and Jay ignored the low hum emanating from deeper in the room. 

Jay jumped into the room, not questioning what the room was as he groped his way further in. finally he found something resembling a corner and sat himself down. He turned towards the possible wall, and shrieked. Jay didn’t notice when the light from the corridor vanished, he just kept shouting and screaming, grabbing his hair and yanking at it in frustration as he tried not to lash out and break anything. After several minutes for screaming and cursing Jay’s vice fell to a hissing whisper.

“Fucking Mill and their fucking ideas. ‘Oh it’ll be a de-stress night, bring the-’ fucking weed and You’ll bring the drinks so we’ll do what ever stupid thing comes to mind! Well now we’re gonna die here!” Jay paused and growled. “Fucking Christ, we are going to die here!”

“Sounds like someone’s had an interesting day.” Jay growled as a new voice broke through his raging and he shouted into the darkness.

“Fuck off!” 

“I have a feeling that’s the same thing as Frag off, so no. I’m not. See cause, you chose to have you’re little meltdown, in my usual spot.” The lights flipped on, standing before Jay was a One eyed bot with a long Helm and what looked like a turret for a chassis. He had clawed hands, and digitigrade legs. The Blue Bot’s one eye squinted as he examined Jay. “Holy Primus you are tiny!”

“Well Not all of us are Malformed giants!” Jay shouted, the bot put a claw to his chassis.

“Ouch! You wound me!” Jay snarled. The Bot shrugged. “Eh, keep it little Rage Thing, you're not the only one whose pissed here. Though you seem to have reasons to be so.”

“Hmph.” Jay turned back to the wall ignoring the bot who buzzed. 

“You do know you're in a Practice range yeah? You fight?”

“No. I’m a chemist.” 

“Yeah well so is Perceptor and he shoots Cons outta the sky like its his Primus given duty.”

“Why the fuck are you here?” Jay spat, the bot laughed bitterly.

“Same as you. Pissed off and its annoying. I Like to blow things up when I pissed. You seem to like to shout. So how about this,” Jay yelped as the Bot hoisted him up and walked across the room. Now that Jay could see, he noticed targets and practice dummies strewn around the room. The clawed bot placed him down on a broken dummy near him and pulled some form of weapon out of seemingly nowhere. “You stay here, where you won’t blow up, because I’m sure someone will get pissed off if you do blow up, you can yell and shout and do what ever, and I’m going to make those targets wish they could scream.” 

Jay looked over the bot, they were, very expressive with no mouth, just the single eye. The bot turned to the target, and Jay’s curiosity overwhelmed his rage.

“Who’re you?”

“Not telling unless you tell me your designation!” They said.

“Jay. You.”

“Whirl.” Jay nodded, though he was sure Whirl never saw. He turned to face the wall and right as he started screaming, an explosion went off behind him. 

And it happened again. And Again. And Again and Jay never felt so relieved after ten minutes of this. Every scream, every annoyance he shouted was met with a shock wave that matched his rage. After ten minutes he ran out of rage, but kept shouting, and screaming with exhilaration as the shocks kept coming. 

Somewhere in the mess he had turned around to face the dummies. Whirl was focused in on one and only one, his weapon, some kind of gun, was red hot and sizzling. Whirl’s optic was narrowed and determined. Jay recognized the fading fury in its gleam. It seemed they shared that. 

Then finally the noise died down, Whirl leaned back against the wall and Jay finally took in how tall he really was. Easily over 25ft at least but it wasn’t so imposing. 

“Ha! Take that you bastard!” Whirl shouted and turned to Jay. “I used that right yeah? You were shouting it earlier and it sounded like a curse so I wanted to try it.” 

“Yeah, you got it right,” Jay laughed. “Though Bitch might work better. I prefer Motherfucker.”

“Motherfucker. Ooooh! I like that one!” Whirl sang. “Motherfucker, Motherfucker, Moootherfuuuckerrrr!” 

“Pfft, ok, ok, now you’re overdoing it.” Jay said and Whirl buzzed.

“Yeah? Well how about I teach you some? Slag is a good curse but Frag and Pit Spawn hold some real weight to them.”

“I like Frag. its quick and easy, like Fuck.” 

“Oh! That’s a good one!” The two snickered. And then settled down some. After a moment of silence Jay turned to Whirl.

“That felt good.” 

“Yeah, gotta agree with you there.”

“There’s usually, i don't know, some left over that doesn’t really leave but there’s less now.” Jay said Whirl nodded.

“Oh Pits yeah. I get it.” Whirl vented. “I get it.” 

And That was all Jay really needed to hear.

 

Ofelia walked with Squint through the smaller passages. They had left Mill and Cortez with First Aid, Prowl, Perceptor and Brainstorm, they were trying to find some form of protection for the four that they could feasibly use when Ofelia had requested a walk.

Now it was just her and Squint wandering the corridors in silence.

“Femme Ofelia?”

“Just Ofelia please.” Ofelia asked and Squint nodded.

“Ofelia, are you alright?” Ofelia stopped walking and Squint panicked. “I simply want to check on your well being! If I have offended I-”

“No it’s fine I just… it didn’t hit me that we could literally die here. We have so much back home… well I know I do. Mill has her work, and Jay has his boyfriend, I have my family… But I got carried away again. And it always happens but…” Ofelia sucked in a shaky breath. “I'm not a chemist like Jay. he can make medication easily he’s a genius with chemicals! Mill is mechanically minded and they’ll figure out something and Cortez will probably find some way to make food because they can do that! But, all I can do is ask questions. And distract them…”

“Ofelia I must ask why you are suddenly concerned by such things? Is information not an important part of any project?” Squint asked.

“But I-”

“Please tell me honestly, do Humans not gather information before doing most endeavors?” Squint asked seriously. Ofelia nodded.

“Then I do not see how you would find yourself a burden in this. Knowing Perceptor and Branstorm they will find a way to get you all home soon. In the mean time we should exchange as much information as possible it could be invaluable to both our cultures!” Ofelia chuckled. 

“Yeah… Yeah. You’re- you're right. I’m sorry about that…” Squint cocked his helm and, slowly, took Ofelia’s hand in his own servo.

“There is no need for apologies… Am… Am I doing this right? I witnessed the other three doing something similar when they were distressed is it ok?” Squint asked gesturing to their locked fingers/digits. Ofelia nodded.

“Yeah, yeah your fine.”

“Then let us finish our walk and return to the others, I do have a few questions for you.”

 

It was twenty minutes before Squint and Ofelia returned. Then another 40 before Jay came back, followed by Whirl. Prowl gave the pair an odd look but Whirl just crossed his arms and squinted his optic.

“What’s up Motherfuckers?” Whirl asked. Cortez groaned and turned to Jay.

“You go storming off and come back having taught an alien curses?” He asked Jay shrugged.

“He also taught me a few of his Fragging curses.” Brainstorm started laughing his ass off in the background as Mill and Perceptor both rolled their eyes/optics.

“Great, well now that we are all back, First Aid thinks he can get a section of the Med Bay turned into a Habsuite for us, temperature controlled and close to a possible Lab area for us to work in.” Mill said. “And Perceptor has been kind enough to modify a few Minibot weapons for us to use in case of an emergency.”

“What so we’re packing heat now?” Jay asked.

“Yes. Specifically Plasma Pistols.”

“Holy Shit I’m a Star War. Gimme.” Jay said making a grabby hand at Mill.

“They aren’t ready yet just let us-” 

The room was suddenly filled with the sounds of humans playfully arguing, and plans being made. And it seemed things might work out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand here is chapter two! Hope ya'll continue to enjoy ths little adventure I'm making. let me know what you think! I love hearing others opinions!


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